Once upon a time, I was fooled by the phony exterior of a narcissist. My “five senses test” failed me.
How did that happen?
I simply DID NOT KNOW about narcissism or gaslighting or how easy I was to take advantage of in the vulnerable state I was in at the time.
It was a tough lesson to learn but THE MOST VALUABLE one I’ve ever learned, and now I can share it with you so you don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Here we go…
How do you KNOW that someone is a GOOD person?
I.E… how can you KNOW a person in your life legitimately doesn’t suck…
… and how can you KNOW someone is trustworthy?
It’s not by how well they played football in college.
It’s not how many people idolize them for their so-called “talent.”
It’s not how many times they tell you how awesome they are while you sit there staring at them.
It’s not how many dangerous pharmaceutical drugs they sold at their last job as a “top” drug rep.
It’s not how “cool” and tech-savvy they act in public.
It’s not where they live or who their parents are or how they look or the restaurants/theaters they frequent…
… and it’s definitely not in what they SAY…
so how can you KNOW that a person is everything they claim to be?
How do you know if you can trust someone?
By examining their actions.
(AND NEVER give your trust to someone you’ve just met. EVER.)
If they say one thing and do another, the person is a LIAR.
If they say they “love everyone” but then abandon you and treat you like a nobody, the person is a LIAR.
If they say they want to see you but then you find out FIVE MONTHS LATER that they helped your former abuser try to steal your business, the person is a LIAR and cares more about preserving their own self-image than legitimately helping someone in genuine need.
If they say they are a Christian but show no empathy; they show nothing but hate and disdain toward you for no verifiable reason, that person is a LIAR.
If they say they are a Christian but then lie to a judge about you… even when they’ve been presented multiple times with the facts about what is *actually* happening…
… that person is a LIAR.
Lying is not okay. Especially if someone is using THE NAME OF GOD as a shield to justify the lies.
Even if they realize they spoke a falsehood without knowing, then the person should OWN IT. They are responsible for their own actions *and* the consequences of those actions.
Lying more to cover up a mistake also incriminates them — which may be what you want, especially in a court of law, where you WANT the liar to out him- or herself.
There is a high probability that “What if my client is wrong?” doesn’t even cross their attorney’s mind before signing on to work with someone who has wronged you, so KNOW THAT and be the one wise enough to think things through.
Give your accuser an opportunity to do the right thing, and when they don’t, that’s when you come out to play.
(It isn’t fun being underestimated… but it does work to your advantage a lot because nobody ever sees you coming. They are never prepared.)
If someone did something wrong to you/against you, you do not have to just sit there and take it.
What I am realizing as I reflect on all of this is that the inside TRULY IS what counts when it comes to trusting someone.
Just because someone *seems* harmless does not mean they are. It is all about what their intention is.
If you can dig in and make some educated guesses (using your intuition), you can figure out exactly how Satan fooled you… and you can fight back.
You can stand up to your accuser. THE Accuser is Satan, and he uses the most clever ways — and the most attractive people — to trick us into thinking something is from God, when it truly isn’t.
I was sucked into one of Satan’s schemes BIG TIME with this narcissist. BIG TIME. And it almost royally f*cked up my life.
Be awake. Be vigilant. The thief comes ANY TIME — day or night — to LIE, steal, and destroy.
His next victim could be you.